It's all coming back to me
by Yuna Of Besaid
Summary: Three years following the incident of FFx-2 and two unexpected people arrive in Baralai's life, but they aren't strangers. Romance and missing years. OC and Baralai. Small amount of Paine and Baralai.
1. Chapter 1

Hi Everyone. This is a story that has been in my mind since playing the HD edition of FFX-2 and listening to the bonus details of FFX Will Eternal Calm. I used to adore Paralai but the older I got the more I saw they couldn't work the way I wanted them to. So if you want Paine and Baralai together forever I am afraid this is not the story for you. I don't usually do these kinds of characters but I felt it so powerful to me I had to share her with you.

I hope you do enjoy, but if you do not then please be polite about it in the reviews – remember every time someone writes a part of their soul goes into their stories and since Baralai has been a part of mine for a decade be kind. You don't have to love this or even read it, just respect this is important to me to share.

Update: Parts now rewritten to be more descriptive.

Disclaimer: This is purely a work of fiction by a fan. The majority of characters, places and plots from the past are works by Square Enix and not my property. The ideas are my own but are not based on real life events or other peoples work. Any similarities to this are purely coincidental. There is no profit made from this story. It is a fanfiction.

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Spira has changed so much. Every corner of green forest and golden sand on the beaches have grown into a new and beautiful place. Every person has adapted to become who they want to be and not just what Yevon told us we had to be. Every past has transformed us into a new and, I think, better world than we used to live in. We no longer look a thousand years into the past any more for answers. Instead, we provide the answers for our own future. We plan for the next thousand years without the fear of Sin and the spiral of death. Children now grow up with parents, go to school and have a career option past acolyte or Crusader. No one will ever again have to plan to sacrifice their own life to save the world and people that they love. Friends stroll down the streets together in peace. All races united finally. The Al Bhed are now seen equally to everyone else. The Guado are now forgiven for their leader's past indiscretions. The Ronso are repopulating and exploring more of Spira without worry. We have done right by our descendants. They will know a freedom that was denied to us all our lives before Sin's defeat. Now we consider twenty a young age again, instead of a higher age than some had previously lived to. And to think, I'm twenty three now.

These past five years have changed so much. Spira has changed so much. I have changed so much. But is it still so wrong to look back on the forgotten corners of our past? The darker parts that will never leave us? _Her eyes._ _Brightly shining back at me in the pale moonlight._ Is it wrong to recount those memories and wonder if our lives had gone differently? _If she hadn't...If I was there to protect her._ But life goes on. But sometimes, in those rainy nights when you sit alone in the dark; maybe a single candle burning in the window as the rain hits the glass rhythmically, is it so wrong to wish I was with _her_ one more time? To see her smile. To smell her hair and remember youth and happiness. A free time. Perfect Summers in fields of flowers. Snow falling in her chestnut hair as she whirled around, arms wide, with magic in the air. Colourful Autumns with chilly walks through the crisp leaves. A single kiss in the Spring showers leaving us both soaking wet and without a care. A promise of youth and love. Frozen in time forever. Forever young. Forever perfect.

Five years have passed since a failed Operation Mi'ihen befell us and the Crusader task force I was assigned to, the Crimson Squad, was disbanded by the gunshots of Yevon maesters trying to kill us for uncovering a long forgotten secret of Yevon. Spira was a mess for so long. Once High Summoner Yuna defeated our false religion of Yevon and Sin, the eternal regenerating monster that destroyed Spira on the commands of Yu Yevon, we didn't know which way to turn. I guess the older ones were the most confused. Their entire life was based on following a religion of lies. So New Yevon was born. A place for these people who didn't know what to do and a place for the recording and careful sharing, at a high level of discretion, of historical spheres. I was elected Praetor by these people, the highest honour and position in the party. I upheld my responsibility to the best of my ability but as a person I could not overcome my hatred for Nooj, my fellow ex comrade, following his betrayal at the Crimson Squad exercise where he shot me in the back and left all the team for dead after we escaped the massacure Yevon had ambushed on us. I let myself become emotionally vulnerable and I let a vengeful spirit called Shuyin possess me after confronting Nooj about the shooting and discovering he was possessed by this man since we visited the Den of Woe two years prior at Operation Mi'Ihen. I felt Shuyin's hatred and despair as he used me to try to destroy Spira for the revenge of the death of himself and the summoner he loved, Lenne, one thousand years ago in the Bevelle underground. He held onto my hate of Nooj. My regret. My bitterness. _Her eyes._ If it were not for my friends coming to save me and sending Shuyin and Lenne to the farplane- well, I couldn't even imagine. I owe a lot to my comrades but even more to Lady Yuna and the Gulwings. With Rikku and Gippal's Al Bhed knowledge, Paine and Nooj's fighting skills and Lady Yuna's faith in Love they defeated the spirit in me and freed me from his grasp. Only once I understood how Nooj had felt whilst being possessed by this Shuyin could I start to move past this chapter of my life and forgive my friend.

Following the 'second' secret, Eternal Calm, as we labelled it, once the omega weapon ,Vegnagun, that Shuyin possessed me to control was defeated, we united Spira but I couldn't deal with my feelings. I tried to disband the party but New Yevon was stronger than me. I was in denial thinking that Vegnagun was all my fault. I felt responsible. I couldn't move on. But my friends helped me get stronger again. Gippal was always there for a laugh whenever I felt low, always covered in oil and grime. For days after he left I would find blonde hair and dirty fingerprints around my office and occasionally bits of machina. Nooj also tried to help me. He lingered in every doorway for weeks with a stern lecture on controlling my emotions, hypocritically peering over his silver glasses with all his extra one year more than me life wisdom he possessed. That was when Paine started to visit more often, working on her book of our stories and her Gullwing adventures. She was there almost every other day, Crimson eyes glowing with laughter as she casually paced back and forth my office in her usual leather outfit, pushing her silver hair behind her ears as she threw ideas for chapters at me continuously. We laughed together over stories of our team and the adventures we shared and the future ones we planned. Her face seemed to soften a lot more through the weeks. We got closer and things developed into something more. That was the first mistake.

The Spirian Council was formed shortly after and title of Praetor turned into Chancellor but the role was basically the same. Something sturdy was developing that could finally replace Yevon successfully and actually involve the people. Bevelle built a Blitz stadium and people started to develop and use machina, which really helped relations with the Al Bhed. It seemed peace was a real thing. Except for with me and Paine. Didn't the papers have a field day with that, every single time. I must be a glutton for punishment that Yevon would lead me to love the one woman who cannot love another. She needed to be free and do her own thing and that was fine with me. She came and went as she liked. But hours became days and soon it was weeks between seeing her. When I confronted her it was an angry excursion that always ended in broken vases and ruin or passion fuelled making up. The emotions were too high, my reputation was on the line as well as hers. I wanted what was best for her. But I wanted her too. The more we saw each other the more vases that had to be glued back together again started to appear in my house. Was I the villain for letting her do this to me for so long? I only wanted her to be happy but she always came back with the same excuses. She couldn't be the future wife of a politician, smile, wave and stay put and be there for me. I never wanted her to do that anyway. I wanted her to be Paine. Wild and free and beautiful in her own way but I guess our lives were just too different. Months turned into years and when I blinked it had been two whole years of on again, off again relationships with her of which I could only account for a maximum of six months of time we were officially together. Even then I swear I only saw her for a third of that time. I became bitter and resentful to life, I think. In those moments, those single candle on the window in the dark moments, I thought about _her_. I hated myself even more for that. I felt guilty. I was in love with Paine and I was in love with a woman who I didn't even know if was alive any more. I felt like I was betraying them both. But it had been five years since she had gone missing.

But Paine had come back again after our longest break up. She missed me and needed someone to remind her she was a human again, she said with sorrow in her Crimson eyes. Was it just pity at this point or did I just hate myself this much that I had to keep punishing myself with her? Was there even love left or did I just want to remember that I was human too? That was the middle of March. The calendar to the left of the hospital bed read April 2nd. This had got far too complicated far too quickly. I sigh to myself, grief and worry consuming my soul. I had spent five years in torment. Five years thinking about who I should have been and not who I was. The uncomfortable, grey plastic hospital chair they had put next to the bed for me was starting to take it's toll on my back. I stretched a little and looked down at the patient in the bed before me. She looked so close to death it brought a lump to my throat. How did she look so small? So vulnerable? I couldn't bring myself to leave her. Not for a second, in case I blinked and she was gone. Gone. With no promise of return. No hope that this time I may see her face again.

How did today get so complicated? It started just like any other day. Out of bed and crawl lifeless to the kitchen for some coffee. Repeat until humanity returns. Listen to the traffic update on the radio. Sigh as once again the main road into Bevelle Highstreet is blocked. Wait for private car to pick me up , shower and change into a respectable suit (Choice of tie pattern usually being the morning highlight). Spend adequate time transforming shower hair into acceptable gelled back perfection but spend more time messing up my silver white hair when I get the angle wrong. Check phone for any messages from Paine? No. Sigh to self and repeat previous coffee actions. Finally get driven to work in gridlock. Get to work. Smile, Sign papers, meetings, more smiling, press conference, lunch with Gippal. Stare into mirror in washroom for a good ten minutes to see if I can see a soul in my hazel eyes today. politics really takes a toll on your patience and humanity. But then the day changed with a call from the police station to report a small detonator device going off in the records centre. After a failed attempted robbery. This was different. I guess it was at this point in the day that I finally woke up and took an interest. The area was safe, the police officer told me but that I had to come down now. A woman was injured by the blast and was asking for me personally but the police could not tell me her name. Panic. Fear crept over me now. What if it was Paine? I hadn't seen her in a couple of days. What if she was hurt? I grabbed my coat in an instant and ran out the office yelling to Karen, my redheaded, thirty something personal assistant to cancel all my meetings for the day. I don't think she heard me as I heard her call after me down the corridor. The car was waiting in a bay and I told the driver where to take me. He seemed surprised by the unplanned trip but did not question it. The journey seemed endless as we drove through Bevelle's bustling centre towards the outskirts where the Records Center was located. I thought about getting out and running most of the way there. Surely that would be quicker? I couldn't contain myself. I was edgy and panicking now as every second went past. The record centre appeared in the corner of my eye with a small crowd surround it and multiple officers walking back and forth. The car was slowing when I grabbed the door handle and opened the car door without the driver stopping. As soon as I safely could I was running out the car and down toward the blue tape cordoning the place off. Why was I called here? Shouldn't they have taken her to hospital by now? I asked an elderly male officer these exact thoughts and he told me in a calm and croaky voice they would take her as soon as the ambulance arrived but until then they had a few questions as they believed her one of the people responsible for the attempted robbery. How? Paine was a wild card, but a detonated device? I couldn't believe it. I looked around for her frantically as the officer spoke. The old man directed me into a small blue tent they had constructed off to one side. He asked me to confirm if I knew the woman I was about to see as she was asking for me by name and not by my profession of Chancellor. I was getting frantic now. The anticipation was too high. A couple of beds were constructed for the injured, which looked to be filled by about two people but were obstructed from view by an arriving medic and two police officers. Rather small casualties for what had happened I thought. A blonde female officer stepped out the way to the right and I could clearly see the woman asking for me. My heart stopped. I did not know whether to run to her and hug her tight or cry like a baby. The girl was a stranger. About nineteen now. Shoulder length white hair a mess. Blood running from an open cut on her tanned face. Her clothing was that of a warrior and her brown eyes shone in frustration. A stranger but a part of my heart that automatically recognised her in a instant. A female mirror image of myself but a shorter, maybe five ft eleven? I whispered her name. A question almost. _Kiara_. My baby sister sat in front of me a young woman. Alive. She went missing the same time _she_ did. My parents mourned. We never knew if she was alive or dead. I searched every corner of Spira I visited for years, even though a grave for her remained in my hometown, until after a few years even I had given up hope. She was only fourteen when she disappeared. So much life left to live. The holiday seasons we had all sat around the table with an empty seat for her just in case. But she was never there. In the end I think we all just assumed the worse and tried to continue our lives. When I joined the Crimson Squad and then went into hiding following is destruction my parents had assumed that I was another casualty of operation Mi'ihen. How many times had they mourned for their children? I couldn't count. But there she sat in front of me now, crying as I too realised I was. I ran to her and hugged her tightly. A thousand questions that just wouldn't turn into words in my grief.

"Baralai." She whimpered into my chest as I held her to me. "I'm so sorry." She wept. She kept repeating those words until they didn't even make sense any more. The words slowly changed. Too long before I realised what the words meant. "She's here. She's here." The lump in my throat was back. What did she mean? I knew she was here. I was holding her to my heart so protectively. I finally let her go when I realised she was real. Five years of grief poured into that embrace. "She's here." she repeated. I looked into her tear glossed eyes, following direction of her gaze to the bed across from her. The one I had ignored the minute I saw my sister's face. My heart fell to the floor. Things seemed to be getting a little bit dizzier. The room a little more blurry as realisation hit me and then her face came into view.

"Anna." I choked. It was her. A second was all it took to realise. _My Anna._ The one I couldn't protect. _Snowflakes in her hair. Kisses in the spring rain._ She wasn't conscience. I could hear Kiara saying something but I couldn't make sense of it as I walked a little shakily towards her.

"Some sort of magic... Couldn't remember who we were... The necklace..." It had been five years since I last saw Anna, her alabaster face perfect as a marble statue. Beautiful chestnut hair spread over her pillow. She hadn't changed. Not to me. She was the same girl I remembered. Older. But the same shy priestess she once was. She was here. She was alive. But she was hurt, I did not know how but she looked on the verge of life. How was she alive? Where was she? Why didn't she find me? I'm not exactly hard to find now a days. The room seemed to shake again and I had to run quickly outside to the nearest bin and vomit the contents of my stomach. Was this real? This was like any other day. I hadn't even bothered to check the date this morning. And now she was here being wheeling into the ambulance by the medic I had seen when I arrived. He looked grave as he climbed into the back with her,

Everything else happened so fast. I was so shaken by my encounter that I was taken to the hospital in the ambulance with the two women, Kiara holding my hand aggressively not letting go, digging her red painted nails into my palm and me desperately trying to not let go of Anna's limp one. My sister wasn't so bad. Only a few scrapes but she seemed shaken by the incident and spoke of a necklace often. I didn't pay much attention as we sped through Bevelle with sirens bellowing. They seemed to fix her up on the way to the hospital but Anna was still unresponsive and needed more attention. The moment we stopped they rushed her off on her bed to the emergency room where I couldn't follow and took my sister into another room. I stood aimlessly in the corridor as a middle aged, plump nurse tried to sit me down in a slightly busy waiting room with a cup of tea for the stress. I just wanted to be with Anna. The nurse smiled politely, knowing who I was, but I could see she was getting annoyed with me quickly so I tried to focus on breathing like she suggested. When she was finally happy with my progress she offered me another drink which I accepted without thinking and left me alone with a blanket over my shoulders to wait for a doctor to inform me about the two women who had reappeared in my life. How could I comprehend what was happening to me? To them? I couldn't believe they were both alive and what about this incident with the attempted robbery and explosives at the record office? This would come back into my hands sooner or later. I had to speak to one of them now. None of this seemed real, but all I could think of was _her_. I focused on her eyes. Bright blue like a turquoise with a hint of mischief and intrigue in them. Big and beautiful eyes that captured everyone's attention when they met her. It had been five years but I never forgot for one second what they looked like or how I felt when they were looking back deeply into mine. Senses seemed to return to me for a second and I felt a strange vibration in my pocket. My phone. I hadn't even considered telling anyone what was happening to me. I just went with it. I had five missed calls from Gippal. Ten from the office. A text from Rikku angrily asking me to answer Gippal as he was really worried. An official email from Nooj asking if I was AWOL again and whether he should check the Bevelle underground. I hadn't even realised the time. It was ten at night. How long had I been sat in this chair? I couldn't even remember the time I received the call from the police. The tea in my hand was stone cold. The waiting room now completely empty except me. How many curious people had passed their Chancellor completely oblivious to anything? A different nurse from the one who offered me tea passed and I called her over.

"How is my sister and the woman they took to the emergency room? The one who was at the record centre incident?" I coherently asked. The nurse looked confused for a second and then seemed to understand me.

"Oh. Your sister is sleeping in the ward and as for the Jane Doe. We took her to recovery recently." She smiled and then began to walk away quickly.

"Stop! Please?" I called, standing up and knocking over the tea onto the floor with the blanket that fell off my shoulders. "Can I go see her? Please?" I begged. No one had told me she had moved. I specifically asked them to tell me. Didn't I? Maybe not. The nurse began to shake her head and say that only family could see her and as they had no formal identity then they couldn't allow me in. "You have to!" I cried, trying to plead before I had to use my status against her, but I was desperate. "I know her. Please. Her name is Anna Kinoc. Her father is Maester Kinoc's brother. They live in Bevelle – her parents that is. I can call them to her. Please?" I pleaded. The nurse shook her head and continued to deny me as I had no proof that I was a relative past this. "Did she have any possessions? Jewellery?" I asked. I was desperate and now was not a time for secrets. The nurse confirmed she did but would not specify what. "There was a ring. A diamond ring. It was gold and on the inside in an initial of GM." The nurse once again confirmed. "The initials were Gloria Maytan. I know this-" I explained as calmly as possible. "-because Gloria Maytan was my grandmother and she gave me that ring. And I know that the girl in that room is Anna Kinoc and that she had this specific ring because I gave it to her. Five years ago when I asked her to marry me." I sighed. It was out now. Nothing could undo this fact. The nurse seemed shocked and immediately walked me down the corridor into her room where she lay. She gave me the uncomfortable, grey plastic chair and ran off to tell the doctor the new fact she received. They came back to get Anna's parents number from me and then left us alone. That was five hours ago. Its now three AM and I am sat here waiting for some sign of life. A glimpse so I know she was back. I am sat here reflecting on my life and how much it has changed without her. I am thinking of the future we should have had. Straight out of school, her and me, married with a few children by now. Her a librarian or priestess as she always planned. Me working in Yevon and coming home every day to her. That was the plan anyway. The day I asked her to marry me. I was only Eighteen but that wasn't uncommon for Spira then. When you left school at Eighteen and you weren't planning your wedding or at least engaged people said you were taking the 'Walk of shame' on leaving the gates for the last time. Life was far more precious then. I had know Anna my whole life and loved her for the majority of it. So it was agreed. She was so happy. She told me to wait a minute on the bench we sat on as she ran back to the temple because she left her bag there. I waited an hour. Then half an hour more. By the time I got to the temple I had asked almost half of Bevelle and no one had seen her. Panicking I ran home. But when I got home my parents were already crying. My sister was also missing. We filed the necessary reports and searched for hours on end. After a few weeks we held a joint memorial and a gravestone laid out for both my sister and the girl I loved above empty graves. One month later I signed up to join the Crimson Squad. I spent every minute memorising her eyes and thinking about how I would never see her again. When Gippal had once asked me what I would do after Sin I just did not know. I had nothing planned apart from the life we planned together.

And now she is back. Teetering on the edge of life. All I ever wanted was her. All I ever needed was her. And all I can think of is how I can't hurt Paine. I can't be dishonourable to her because a woman I used to- _still_ love has returned. But how can I live without Anna? Paine or Anna? It wasn't fair. I resented Paine in that minute. She caused me only pain and now she wanted me back and Anna was here, real to the touch. I couldn't back out of this. I watched her pale face, hoping she would open her eyes. I sat here staring at the girl I asked to be mine and wondered if I would ever really have her. I didn't care where she was or why she didn't find me right now. All I cared about was her.

"Survive." I whispered to her, gently touching her chestnut hair, tears in my eyes. "Come back to me"


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter two.

Disclaimer: I do not own FFX or any of its characters or properties. This story is a work for fiction that does not make profit and is purely for entertainment. Square Enix are the official owners of the Final Fantasy franchise.

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I awoke with a jolt as a beeping machine rushed passed outside through the echoing corridors accompanied by the footfall of half a dozen medical staff. I gave a throaty groan as I raised my sore head off my numb arm which had been propping me up against a small, white storage cabinet next to my plastic chair. My elbow was indented with the zigzag pattern on the plastic and starting to ache badly. How long had I been asleep for? My heart skipped a beat for a second as my brain adjusted to consciousness; remembering the reason I had stayed up all night and early morning in this uncomfortable position. Anna lay there as quietly and still as when I last checked. The machine next to her showed a stable heart rate as the doctors had expected, but she had not yet woken up from her trauma. A female doctor had finally come round to us at five this morning and explained the situation to me with a smile that promised all positive outcomes but weary eyes that suggested otherwise. The detonator used at the records centre was small but it's unplanned timing causing anyone in the close blast radius to be knocked backwards in the explosion. Anna's injuries were surprisingly minimal and a complete recovery from the blunt force of being knocked into a metal cabinet in the incident was expected. The thing that worried the doctor was the stoic status of her consciousness. They had pieced together from my sister's accounts that some kind of talisman had been used on both women with powerful magic that caused a permanent block of memories prior to a certain date. The doctor explained to me that it was similar to a data install in which the person was aware of their actions but had been 'reprogrammed' with a chosen backstory which eradicated any prior unwanted memories of their lives. Someone with one of these talismans could see their own mother and have no recollection of who they were unless the talisman allowed it. The problem with this kind of magic was that is could have a dangerous and permanent effect on the brain, which is what they believed was happening to Anna. When the detonator went off her talisman was damaged causing her brain to effectively 'reinstall' all her memories from before the block. Essentially, Anna was remember two lives. The first, her actual life before her disappearance and the second, her life after in which she could have believed herself an entirely different person with another name. They just did not know till she awoke.

I had so many questions that needed answers. If this was the work of a talisman then how come when it was taken off the person didn't remember their prior life and why had Kiara not reacted the same way as Anna? The doctor informed me that this kind of magic was old and very rare but extremely powerful. Someone wearig this talisman would have no intention of taking it off even subconsciously. It was a part of them almost like a tattoo or favoured jewellery such as a wedding band. In this case both women were found with necklaces with the symbol of Yevon on. They wouldn't have even considered that these objects were cursing them. The answer to the latter question made my heart leap into my mouth. Kiara had instantly recovered from her past life trauma as her memories were welcoming and she was emotionally stable to handle the process. The doctor suggested that for a split second Anna had remembered her life before her disappearance and something so traumatic from her past had caused her to become comatose. It could have been a bad event that she did not want to return to or, more probably, the realisation that the life she should have had was stolen from her with no hope of return. Basically, she couldn't handle real life and her brain safely cocooned her in her own dream world until she could accept her past and move forward. I had never felt so responsible for something in my entire life. Not Vegnagun, not any of Paine's disruptions, nothing was like this feeling. It was me. I was the past she couldn't handle. As I had been told before, Anna was able to understand exactly what was happening in Spira all these years. She was aware of Yevon's downfall, of a new party starting. She had heard of a new leader called Baralai and his rise in the party but she could not connect that I was the same Baralai she had known her whole life. In her head she had never known anyone by that name. I could have passed her in a street and she wouldn't know my face further than that guy she had seen in the paper. She could have been at Luca celebrating our speech. She had seen all my ups and downs but had no intention of finding me as I was no one to her. She had seen me and Paine in all our disputes and just shrugged a shoulder, but now the talisman had gone those memories of a famous politician turned into recognition of the man she had once loved moving on with his life without her. Her brain was trying to process five years of heart break she didn't know to have. To her it was like finding an actor you loved and watching all his films then watching another unrelated film you had seen years before you knew who this actor was and finding out that they had played a small part in the background. The first time you saw that movie you never even bat an eyelid at the guy at the copy machine, now when you watch back you realise it was your favourite actor and respond with surprise. It was like that for all of Anna's memories of me for the past five years only this was real.

I sighed a little and rubbed the sleep from my eyes carefully. I would have to ring into the office and explain the situation. I hadn't even got around to ringing Gippal yet. Anna's parents had been contacted but they were in Besaid when the phone rang. From what I understood they were running to an airship as they spoke to the doctor and was expected at the recovery ward later in the morning. I wonder how they will react seeing their daughter alive after all these years? The thoughts seemed to send me back into a daze as I stared at the brunette in the bed in front of me.

"Hey..." A small voice muttered from my left causing my to jump and knock the white cabinet with my already sore elbow. An untouched plastic cup of water fell over, disturbed by the force of my start. Kiara sat on another plastic chair in the opposite corner of the room by the window. The curtains had been drawn whilst I was sleeping, I noticed. She looked as tired as me, but now dressed in a hospital robe and slippers, with a big, white plaster over her right eyebrow. Her brown eyes looked sad as she looked at Anna sleeping. "I didn't want to wake you." She whispered, shuffling around in her seat and flicking her hair over her shoulder. I relaxed a little and assessed the awkward posture of my little sister. Some of it was like nothing had changed. Just me and her sat together silently as if we were waiting together for our parents to wake up on Christmas day. But she seemed wary of me as if I were a complete stranger. I guess, in some way, I was now. She looked uneasy and looked up at the window into the corridor every time someone walked by.

"How long was I asleep?" I asked, still a little groggy from my unplanned nap. She smiled softly, a smile I knew well and often remembered fondly. The same smile as the one she has in the picture on my desk at the office.

"An hour? Maybe two. I couldn't really tell with all the snoring." She jested, a small laugh coming from her slim frame. I shot her a displeased look and shook off her mockery. "Not long. You haven't missed much. A doctor came by to check her vitals... Mum and dad are on their way." She said, looking down at the floor with a hint of shame and fear. "Baralai, I'm...I'm scared to see them. Its been so long. I'm not that little girl any more. I've done things. Shameful things. There was a necklace-"

"I know. I know. It's okay, Kiara." I told her, cutting her off before she completely burst into tears. I stood up and began to walk over to her. I had sat down so long that my legs felt like jelly. Trying to remember how to walk was as hard as completing a triathlon for me right now. I knelt down in front of her chair and took both her hands in mine. "It's okay. It's not your fault." I reassured her with a calm voice. "Mum and Dad wont even be thinking about these things. They will just be overjoyed to see you." _Alive_. I didn't say the last part, but I knew she could tell that was what I meant. I still couldn't believe she was here with me. Real. Safe. I hugged her gently, letting her tears soak my jacket. There were so many things I needed to know. About where she had been and who she had been. The bomb. But now was not the time so I just let her cry against me until her sobs began to subside.

A long while seemed to pass when the short nurse that had greeted us into the emergency ward yesterday evening popped her head around the door, gesturing to me if it was okay to come in. I gave a small nod and softly let my sister go. Kiara rubbed her eyes and patted her tear stained face on the back of her white hospital gown sleeve. The nurse had changed her scrubs from yesterday so I assumed she had gone home and just returned. She read the chart at the end of Anna's bed carefully and gave a stern scowl at the record the last doctor had written.

"Is there a problem?" I asked, slowly standing back up and leaning against the window ledge with my arms folded. The nurse readjusted her expression into a far too cheery smile and dismissed my negativity.

"No. No. Chancellor. I am just checking what actions have been taken so far." She assured with a sugary voice. I don't believe it was her fault but everything about this woman displeased me. I suppose it was just the situation but just listening to her awkward answers made me irritated. "I will get another nurse to bring in some breakfast for you both." She smiled and walked out the room muttering angrily to herself. Something seemed wrong.

"Chancellor, hey?" Kiara laughed, poking me in the leg as she joked. "Does it drive you mad?" She questioned as she absent-mindedly played with a strand of her white hair. "I mean technically you're not even a patient and you get breakfast. Is this the celebrity treatment?" She had a point. It made me feel bad that people bend over backwards to impress me. So often most the people I met had many masks and very little genuine spark in their personality to actually like. It was one of the reasons I had stayed with Paine. She was angry and mad at me a lot but she didn't have a face with me. Sometimes people treated me like I was some kind of demi-god and did everything in their power to appease me. Don't get me wrong, it has its perks; but Kiara was right. It did make me feel slightly less human every day. Paine... I had completely forgot. Supposing she was still off on her adventures then I was in the clear, but if she had come back last night and I was gone with no clue as to my location things were going to be complicated. I had delayed so much. I had to make my excuses to a few people whilst I remembered.

"I've got to make a few calls, okay?" I told Kiara. She nodded back. "Get someone to grab me if _anything_ , and I mean absolutely _anything_ , happens, alright?" I instructed. She nodded again and set to watching the sick bed obediently. I left the room and walked into the corridor, closing the door softly behind me. A few staff members gave me sorry smiles and other oblivious people waved at me cheerily. I played the part and smiled back as I rushed out to the nearest area I could take calls. As I walked down a few corridors they all started to become similar and I found myself lost. I stopped and leant against a wall, taking my mobile from my pocket. Great, it was dead. Typical. I've never been one for memorising numbers. The only one I knew was the office mainline. I checked a large clock behind a reception desk. Half nine. Good. Someone will be in by now. But I still had no way of contacting anyone. Slightly embarrassed I walked over to the young, black haired nurse at the reception. She smiled absently at me when I approached and then her face dropped with realisation of who I was. I could see her trying to form words but none would come out. Her thick rimmed glasses were sliding down her nose as she stared with her mouth parted slightly. She looked like a terrified mouse I noted as I waited for her to recompose herself. "Hi there. Is there anywhere I can make a call, please? My personal mobile has died and I have a few important calls to make." I said, trying to drip a little bit of charm in my request. It was all I could muster which was quite flat for me but unnoticed by the blushing nurse who nodded. "Great. Thank you." I said, waiting for her to give me directions to the nearest payphone. Instead the mousy girl pushed her personal telephone from her desk towards me silently. I gave her a questioning look and then just accepted the situation. Quickly, I dialled the direct line for Karen, my assistant. The nurse next to me was watching my every move silently with a wide mouth. Clearly not everyone was aware I was here. I smiled awkwardly then turned my back to her as politely as possible and looked around the reception area in which a few people were seated also staring and pointing at me. I waved politely at a few and turned back towards the nurse. The less of the two evils I decided. The phone rang continuously for a few seconds and I ran my hand through my hair subconsciously. What a mess. I hadn't even considered how I looked when I left the room. There was definitely some work to do there, but that had to wait. It was very far down my list of priorities. A couple more rings of the line had me panicking. I knew no one else's number to ring. The small nurse was still staring at me, completely ignoring a man in front of her that was trying to check in. I smiled nervously again and tried not to make any more eye contact with anyone. Finally I heard the crack of someone answering.

' _Hello!Hello?'_ A panicked Karen answered. I sighed in relief.

"Karen, it's Baralai-" I began but was instantly cut off by the shrill of her sharp tongue.

' _Where in Spira have you been! I've had half of Spira asking for you and the other half searching.'_ Karen could be quite scary on a good day and she never missed an opportunity to remind me who the older of the two of us were. Sometimes I think she believed she was my boss but today had to be the exception. I had to make her listen and do exactly as I said without room for negotiation. Spira could hold itself together on its own for a day. Today I needed to take a personal day and be here for my family.

 _"_ I'm sorry. Really I am." I began in earnest. I anticipated her reaction and cut her off before she could say another word. "Look Karen, I am at Bevelle Central Hospital- No, no I am fine but I have a family matter that needs to be attended to and cannot leave yet. I need you to urgently cancel everything for today."

' _But Sir, the council meeting today can-'_

"I'm sorry Karen." I started again firmly. "It has to be done. Ring Gippal and Nooj. Tell them the situation and where they can find me. I am waiting in the recovery ward if they feel the need to come down. I will be back as soon as possible, I promise." I confirmed, a little edgy in my reply. I did not know how long I was going to be here. As long as it took to see Anna open her eyes. Karen begrudgingly agreed to help me and I hung up the phone gently, the telephone's owner still staring at me as if I were a ghost.

"I don't suppose you can tell me how to make my way back to the recovery ward, please?" I asked but I knew it was a long shot with this girl. Her startled face just looked at me and pointed at a map on the other side of the wall. I guess it was better than nothing. I thanked the girl and made my way across the waiting area. As I left the desk area I heard another nurse whisper loudly to the girl who had helped me.

' _You do know who that is, right? That's Chancellor Baralai.'_ The other woman proceeded to tell the younger off for her behaviour not realising she was a kind of starstruck but instead believed her ignorant of the facts. I focused on the map. Just a few corridors away and I should be able to make my way back in. I wandered towards the corridor the map suggested cautiously. Bevelle underground had nothing on the complexity of hospital layouts and I knew I could walk that former blindfolded if need be. This building however was an never ending paradox of sterile, white walls and plastic chairs. I paid close attention to the signs as I turned corners is hope of seeing the bright red sign for the recovery ward. As I turned the last corner my eyes finally made contact with the wretched sign. I walked back in the way I came unchallenged. I guess news I was here had made its way through the staff over night. I counted doors till I saw Anna's room. I took a deep breath as I turned the handle slowly, preparing myself to face the feeling of falling into a deep, dark pit of despair once more. As I made my way in I found the room much more crowded than I left it. A middle aged man in his late forties with dark brown hair cut close to his head, a large figure and bright turquoises eyes looked up at me first. Recognition hit his grief stricken face as his frown turned into a wide smile and he bounded towards me with heavy steps. He took my hand in his and shook it hard and stern as he always had.

"Mr Kinoc." I acknowledged kindly. Anna's father had always treated me kindly and I was never a stranger to her parents. I made no attempt to stop seeing them after Anna disappeared and routinely carved time from my scheduled for family dinners, coffee trips and seasonal events. Mr Kinoc was the brother to Maester Kinoc so he was quite used to my manner of turning up with escorts and personal drivers now. These people were always second parents to me and I was glad to have kept them close, especially now as their daughter lay in the hospital bed before me. Mrs Kinoc was a tiny woman with a stick figure and slowly greying hair. Her light grey eyes shone now as she stepped out from behind her husband as hugged me tightly.

"Baralai." She whispered softly and planted a small kiss on my cheek. "Thank you for being here for her." I blushed slightly. There was no other option for me. I had to stay next to her. I had to.

"Kiara told us what you did, staying here all night." A too familiar voice piped up from the left hand corner of the room where my sister had been sat. Instead of the younger girl who had once sat there an almost identical but older woman took her place with my sister sitting across her lap curled up like a small child. My mother smiled at me with tears in her eyes. I hadn't seen this happiness for many years but now, as she clung tightly to her baby, she seemed at peace with life. My father was with her, standing over both women and holding tightly onto my mothers arm looking shocked. I rushed over to my family and held onto them tightly in a large bundle. It may have looked strange for a grown man to be doing this with his ageing family but today no one could judge me. I looked back up at the Kinoc's. They clung to each other too. Anna's mother sobbing hard into her husband's chest as they looked on helplessly at their daughter. It seemed strange for us all to be together again in the same room. The way it should have been five years ago but everyone would be healthy and happy.

I spent the remainder of the morning in the recovery with mine and Anna's family. The nurses provided some food as agreed and we ate silently for a while. Later on I explained everything I knew so far and the outcomes of the magic talisman. We cried together, laughed over old anecdotes and prayed she would wake up. Anna's mother hoped us all being in the room would improve her chances but I knew it was a false hope. I couldn't leave her. I had to be there for her. But how long would it be before she woke up? Hours? Days? Months? I had to try and carry on running Spira as well. People depended on me outside of the room I sat in but I knew that it was only the people there with me that mattered. The nurses came with extra chairs. Usually visitation hours were limited to two hours a day and two guests maximum but due to who I was and the situation no one bothered us further for the rest of the morning.

A silence hit the room around midday as the crying stopped and everyone reflected back on the events. Kiara was discharged from medical care but was not allowed to leave the hospital until the police officers returned to speak to her about the bomb incident. She had fallen asleep on her chair, leaning her head on my father's shoulder. He sat there holding her tight and staring at my mother who was praying silently to herself. Mr and Mrs Kinoc sat in the chair I had spent all night in holding their daughter's hand and whispering to each other. I took up perch on a chair at the end of her bed, my elbows resting on my knee caps and my head supported between my palms. I felt sick at the sight of her laying so lifeless and me being so helpless. Every second that passed was never ending and I could feel everyone's eyes on me with pity. They didn't assess the situation the way the rest of the world did. They saw only a boy who had lost the girl he loved and was now waiting for her to wake up so they could be together forever. No one saw past the truth that I had someone in my life already or how complicated things were becoming. No one understood the choice I had to make if Anna did come back. Be with her and break up with Paine causing me to look dishonest and sleazy or be with Paine and tell Anna that I just couldn't do that to Paine. I would always deeply love Anna in a way me and Paine never could have but I couldn't just do that to Paine. I had a reputation to manage and I considered myself a gentleman. It was crazy, Anna wasn't even responding yet and I was planning months into our lives again. How I wished in that moment I could forget it all and just run away with her somewhere were none of this mattered and we could be together, happily.

A small knock at the door startled me back out of thought. We all turned to see who could be wanting entry but to my surprise Paine stood in the doorway with a glum expression on her face. She looked at me quickly and then looked at Anna with a grim face. She knew. I know she did.

"Baralai. Gippal told me you were here." She said slowly, registering the many faces in the room watching her. She was already aware my parents were not her biggest fans after all our previous breakups. "Can I see you a second?" She asked, gesturing outside the door. I nodded and looked back toward the sleeping brunette longingly. _Don't wake up until I come back. Okay?_ I took a deep breath and followed the silver haired woman into the hospital corridor. Whatever she had to say I could tell it wasn't going to be a fun conversation. But then again, that wasn't exactly a new thing.


End file.
